The world is a beautiful place
to be born into
if you don’t mind happiness
not always being
so very much fun
if you don’t mind a touch of hell
now and then
just when everything is fine
because even in heaven
they don’t sing
all the time
The world is a beautiful place
to be born into
if you don’t mind some people dying
all the time
or maybe only starving
some of the time
which isn’t half bad
if it isn’t you
Oh the world is a beautiful place
to be born into
if you don’t much mind
a few dead minds
in the higher places
or a bomb or two
now and then
in your upturned faces
or such other improprieties
as our Name Brand society
is prey to
with its men of distinction
and its men of extinction
and its priests
and other patrolmen
and its various segregations
and congressional investigations
and other constipations
that our fool flesh
is heir to
Yes the world is the best place of all
for a lot of such things as
making the fun scene
and making the love scene
and making the sad scene
and singing low songs and having inspirations
and walking around
looking at everything
and smelling flowers
and goosing statues
and even thinking
and kissing people and
making babies and wearing pants
and waving hats and
and going swimming in rivers
in the middle of the summer
and just generally
‘living it up’
but then right in the middle of it
comes the smiling
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. 15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 20
Piano Sonata No. 17
The keys are still ringing
But I am back
My trip was short lived
I had escaped
For 3 short minuets
Into the music
The piano has stopped ringing
It was never meant to not produce
My hands float to home
Most of the the time
Strike the strings
I CAN PLAY LOUD
and I can play very soft
The conversation between
Goes a lot like this
I long to escape again
We always find ways to escape
Reading a book
Watching a movie
Playing a piano
And for that short time
You are not you
You do not have responsibilities
But you do have
I escape into music
I play again
My eyes search for the clock 5:30 blinks like a detonator. The bomb is ticking and there is nothing I can do about it. I swing my feet over the bed a start to get ready for my first day.
I walk confidently into the school. It is my first day as a 4th grade elementary teacher at Kennedy. This shouldn’t be an unusual event, a lot of kids and teachers are starting their first day. Ah, but my case is slightly different than anyone else’s here. I am the first male teacher this elementary school has ever had. Male elementary teachers rare gems. Not many of my kind go into the elementary field, but the small amount that do, usually have jobs within weeks of getting out of college. I am a fresh 23 year old male, just out of college.
I didn’t expect to get this job so easily. I knew becoming a teacher had its difficulties. But this job offer was too good to pass up. Kennedy is a prestigious private school with a history of all female teachers. But now, studies have shown that it is beneficial to have a “father” figure in the classroom.
Kids have not shown up yet but the hallways are in full swing. Gossip of the first male teacher has spread and the proof is walking to the workroom to fill his coffee cup.
Of course I was cautious. How would you feel if you found out every single of of your co-workers were women? At first I thought this would be a good thing. I am single and starting a new life! But what happens after the excitement is over? Who am I going to get beers with after a long day of grading? Will all of our conversations be female based?
Maybe taking this job wasn’t the best idea after all.
I have tried very hard to attach my music theory composition onto this post, but it would only work if you had that particular program on your device.
This final music theory composition, he had to write a standard ABA piano piece. 48 measures. Simple enough.
Ah, but this project has been the death of me. Hours have gone by without even noticing a change in time. It is crazy how you can lose yourself so easily into something. I often think a composition tells a story and my story had changed during every single page. The book I started with was something very different than what I ended with. But that is the best work.
It’s fun being able to hear something you thought up. But it’s painful at the same time, the sacrifices you make for tonality. But enough of that fancy dancey terminology.
My piece is titled “Unexpected Adventures”. It tells a story of being lost. But this isn’t a scary story, not one bit! Being lost and not exactly wanting to be found. The things you can discover unexpectedly! Amusement is learning and prospering with the memories. Like I said, writing music is just like writing fiction. Of course there are no details, only main ideas.
When writing music, you must pick an emotion for your story. Is it going to be a march, happy and lively! Short and fast! Or could it be sad and solemn. Are you going to be major (happiness to the ear) or could it be minor (mysterious and displeasing)? Afterwards, listening to your own production, you feel a sense of pride. Something your worked hours on is finally completed, not to be tampered with any longer.
Music I theory is not fun and I would not like anyone to get the idea that it has been an overall pleasant experience. But there is some light at the end of the tunnel. I have learned a lot about not only music theory, but also story writing.
To be or not to be: Happiness
I turn my shower to ice cold
Just as I’m done
I don’t want to leave
one of the few places
with no tentacles
But if I turn it to ice cold
I will be happier getting out
I don’t have to face the pain
It was then I realized
Sometimes you have to force yourself into happiness
By setting a horribly loud alarm
For when you wake up
It’s better to get up
And shut it off
Than to lie with life’s constant buzzer
Some say you make life miserable
When you turn on that cold water
Or choose the most annoying alarm
I think it’s life’s necessity
To choose happiness
Rather then let happiness come to you
It was only until I released the pencil that I realized how hard I was gripping. It lay flat on my wooden kitchen table, defeated. I picked up the sheet of paper and hold it up to the light, as if it were counterfeit. My handwriting started out so neat, full of confidence, as it always does. As I continued writing my words got sloppy. My shaky penmanship will surely be noted, I will once again have to start over.
It’s seems when I need time, I sure have less of it. When I have time to waste, I am always waiting for it to be over. I neatly fold the single sheet of paper and place it in the trash, on top of the other attempts. The clock reads nearly noon and I gather my belongings. It will only take 5 minuets to reach the conference room but in this weather, it could take up to a half hour. And I am already late. My beat-up Voltswagon sputters in the cold air. Surely it won’t die on me today, of all days!
I nearly give up when a familiar Cadillac pulls up beside my metal piece-of-junk. All he has to do is give a small wave, allowing me to enter his car. I swear to myself, if I wasn’t in desperate need, I would not allow myself to be within 50 feet of him. But of course, whenever I am damsel in distress, he always shows up.
Derek pulls out of the dinky parking lot and heads toward the conference building, without asking what happened or where I’m going. Of course he knows on Tuesday I need to be headed to my meeting. He knows me too well and I kick myself for letting him get so close. How could I have been so stupid!? He is the person who would come help an ex-girlfriend, no matter the circumstances.
The only time I would allow myself to speak to him again was to give him my single page letter, explaining. Not anything in particular. Just explaining. But that letter was far from being done, an I find myself inside his warm Cadillac, driving me to my Tuesday meeting.
Lucy’s Velcro shoes were once again on the wrong foot. I knelt down and started to take them off. Things around the house were a lot like Lucy’s shoes, incongruous.
The dogs whimper to be let in but I am still working on Lucy’s shoes. Tiny shoes for tiny feet. Something so simple, makes perfect sense. Where is the sense in my life? Not too long ago I was fresh out of college, looking forward to whatever life brought me. Now, five years later, I am worn down, ready for a break. I never expected my mother to be true. Life is a hassle.
Time doesn’t wait for anyone. We would be on time if Lucy didn’t wake up without a fit and my alarm clock had gone off five minuets earlier. But now, we are running out the door, following the same schedule we run 5 days a week. If only time wasn’t such a bitch.
As I seek a future, my career choices had led me choosing the field of education. I wish to become a teacher, no matter all the harassment I have gotten from parents, counselors, and fellow students. I watched the video not to long ago and I agree with it completely. But I ask of you to watch this enlightening video before reading!
I did not choose a career because I wish to be able to purchase expensive cars and ginormous homes. I want to become a teacher because it is what I am passionate about. Teaching music to children isn’t a way to get rich quick, but a way to be able to live my life happily, doing something I love. This video is motivation enough on why exactly I wish to become a teacher and these words I wish I could say to those who doubted me.
However, I am not saying teaching is any harder than any other job out there. I do feel like most teachers are underapperciated. I have gotten a glimpse through cadet teaching and mentoring. I cannot fathom the entirety of being a full time teacher.
I look forward to my future, but in can’t help but worry. During an interview, required by my cadet teaching class, numerous teachers said NOT to go into the education field. It’s risky and difficult. Hearing this does not comfort me. But I do believe I will be able to make it. Going into music education is a mixture of intense feelings!
A short but somewhat intelligent list of things I will never do again
1. Space camp
Why you ask? Next time I ride one of those simulators will be the day I enjoy country music.
2. Go to a country concert
Beer, big trucks that don’t know how to park, whinny love struck lyrics. Sounds like a party.
3. Eat Taco Bell
Yes, I did try Taco Bell for the first time this past weekend. And I will never try it again
4. Attend high school
I guess in about 2 weeks I will really be able to say this
5. Ride the scrambler at a local fair
6. Allow myself to eat an entire pizza
It seemed like a really good idea at the time
7. Go tanning in a tanning bed
Never have and never will
8. Eliminate yoga pants from my wardrobe
I’m sorry, they are just so comfy and they match with everything.
9. Wish I lived in New York City
To cliche, too big. I CANNOT be swallowed up by an entire population of people who want the exact same thing I want.
I love ending lists without a proper #10